My name is Lydia, and I’m 23 years old. For a long time, I lived in fear, in silence, and in a deep, painful place that I couldn’t escape. I used to work at a club, and I never wanted to get tested for HIV. I feared the unknown, and after a traumatic night, I thought I already knew the answer. One night, as I was heading home, I was raped. The shame and fear swallowed me whole, and I convinced myself that I was positive. I saw no reason to get tested; I thought it would only confirm what I feared. I kept it all inside, too ashamed to speak up, too lost to seek help.
I never reported the assault. Instead, the pain began to eat away at me, growing more unbearable every day. I started hating myself, and in an effort to numb the hurt, I turned to alcohol. Slowly but surely, drinking became a habit one I couldn’t break. It consumed me, and soon I found myself losing everything: my job, my dignity, and even the ability to pay rent. I was drowning in debt, in fear, and in hopelessness.
Then, one day, something changed. I met Amina, a woman who saw the abuse I was enduring. She stepped in and defended me when no one else did. Amina was kind, and she noticed me in a way no one had before. She asked what was wrong, and though I kept quiet at first, her compassion made me open up. She told me about the Bar Hostess Empowerment and Support Programme (BHESP) and how they could help me. Amina encouraged me to report the assault and get tested, and even though I was hesitant, I promised her I would go.
That day, I walked into BHESP with a heart full of fear and doubt. But the moment I stepped in, I was greeted with warmth and understanding. I shared my story about the rape, my struggles, and how I had never gotten tested. I admitted that I thought I was HIV positive. The BHESP provider was kind and reassuring. She explained everything clearly and gave me the test. To my relief and joy, the results came back negative. I had a new sense of hope, and I was filled with a sense of freedom I hadn’t felt in years.
But BHESP didn’t just stop there. They taught me about PEP (Post Exposure Prophylaxis), Prep (Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis), HIV, STIs, and gender-based violence (GBV). I learned how to protect myself, how to live a healthy life whether I was positive or negative, and how HIV is spread. I left that day with more than just a clean bill of health I left with knowledge, empowerment, and the courage to change.
That day, I decided. I would stop drinking, and I would take control of my life. I knew I could rebuild, and with the support of BHESP, I had the tools I needed to do so.
I want to thank the Bar Hostess Empowerment and Support Programme for their outreach and their incredible work in transforming lives. BHESP is breaking down barriers, raising awareness, and connecting women to the HIV care and support they desperately need.
And I want to leave you with this: “Knowing your HIV status is not just a test; it’s a powerful step toward taking control of your health and your future.”
Story by Evy Sinmu Gai
